Wobbles

"Wobbles" can be considered as attempted spin which has failed to achieve its objective and has in fact worsened the situation. It is worse than foot-in-mouth disease as it reflects rank stupidity of the progenitor and contempt for the intended audience.

What must be a classic is Charles Ross' contention that the $80 million budget is only an estimate of the overall cost of the enquiry and in any event is a very small figure, in the broader national context.

"The estimated cost is 0.01% of last year's [national] budget so it's really, in the grand scheme of things, not a huge burden. We were offered a rate of compensation and we accepted it. The compensation was not discussed at the time of engagement at all that was something that came when the administration was putting a budget together, we were offered compensation and we accepted it," RJR

This Rossian wobble rubs salt into a raw national wound:

• Is the estimate likely to be exceeded and by what percentage (since we are now into statistical importance)?
• What does the relationship between the estimated cost and last year's national budget have to do with taxed salt?
• What is the relationship between Mr. Ross' earnings from the Commission for a mere 70 days work and his full time remuneration from his private company?
• Who would not gladly accept $7.5 million for a 70-day appointment?
• That the "compensation was not discussed at the time of the engagement at all" raises the issue of Mr. Ross' appreciation of budgeting, negotiation and reasonable returns, in short financial matters.Then again, the innocent victim: St. Charles may be alluding to the timing of the discussions regarding the compensation to be paid.

Acting Constable Carey is beyond belief.

"I was not adversely affected by the Finsac situation. How does that make it unfair for me to inquire? In this case, I don't sit as a judge. I'm more like a policeman, investigating what went wrong."Jamaica Observer

In a sense Carey is correct: no sitting judge of the Court of Appeal receives $15 million for 70 days work.  So he is not sitting as a judge. But no policeman in Jamaica - not even the imported variety - has ever received such extortionist and unconscionable packages. So he is not sitting as a policeman.

But Carey is not even sitting as a Governor of the Bank of Jamaica.  Lattie had to work right throughout the year after gaining much experience for his compensation package (and he was fired for it).

If Acting Constable Carey is roasting, then such practice ought not to be tolerated by the JCF. Then again, was there not a report some time ago of someone strategically placed in the JCF? That bogus policeman  undertook special assignments beneficial to the special interests.. He was an imposter.  Nuff said.

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Run With the Bag

The outrage resulting from the revelation of the compensation packages involved in the FINSAC enquiry has  been widely reported in the Jamaican press. Radio Jamaica (RJR), TVJ, CVM, Hot 102, The Gleaner, The Jamaica Observer - all have reported this debacle. Nevermind the report in the Sunday Herald. This is shame and scandal, with or without familial ties.

"Value-for-Money" - that is a well known standard form response by the government for the unconscionable, extravagant and extortionist compensation packages that are now becoming a vexatious characteristic of this JLP regime.

The Bruce Golding-led JLP has never been "value for money".  Colossal sums were spent on a two year campaign only to win by less than 3,000 votes. The Bruce Golding-led government has carried on the same wanton abuse of money - this time with government revenue (and not private funding, the UFO's being exhausted).

• What is likely to be the final outcome of this so-called FINSAC enquiry given the undue reliance on memory? 
• Would not a forensic audit have provided a more reliable and accurate account of how the money was spent/lost and decisions arrived at in the particular circumstances?
• Is there not an appearance of a conflict of interest where the legal counsel to the commission and the attorney marshalling the evidence are members of the same private law firm?
• The budget is $79 million for approximately 70 days. How does this compare with the remuneration packages of the fired governor of the Bank of Jamaica and Hill's sweet deal?
• Is the daily rate approximately $1 million applicable to any part of a day or is it adjusted pro rata given the frequency of aborted sittings? 
• What mechanisms are in place to minimize the likelihood of overruns, resulting in the commission sitting in concrete?
• The commission is expected to produce a report.  What happens next? How will those who have been adversely affected by state action be compensated? Is there any real possibility of redress or is this merely an exercise to fodder an election campaign?
  

In the end ( whenever that is) there is likely to be no action; not even a bag-a-mouth but costing the taxpayer a bag-a-money. This has given new meaning to "run-with-it". $216,000.00 per day must be a good roast for a retired anything.

"Value-for-money" is an assessment of outcomes - not of promises or expectations.

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Tailor Needed

Jamaica is a land of many claats.  As you mess with someone you are likely to be told about your claat. Those more skilled can reel off the different types with the minimum of provocation.

We need to tell this government about it claat. It is talking out of not two but at least six sides of its mouth.  The various utterings not only are contradictory, they just do not make sense. It is not spin - that is an art and must have some degree of credibility.  It is unabashed lying: plain red-faced deceit.

But the government is either incompetent or simply does not care.  It bungles along - goofing here, there and everywhere. Faced with a mockery of government, this amateurish farce must be draped up and told some choice words. We have to vent for we are vex!  To date, Bruce Golding has been an unimaginable disappointment.

Speculation abounds as to the reasons for such a dismal performance record. Yes, there are severe external pressures exerting devastating consequences on our economy.  Yes, the PNP  made a significant contribution to our vulnerability to such shocks.  But the JLP has assumed the reins of government since September 2007.

Maybe we were desperate.  Sister P and her posse were just not cutting it. By contrast, the Bruce Golding-led JLP seemed promisingly brilliant. We wished to see an image of emperor Bruce clothed in the finest of garments (and bling) bearing gifts (jobs, jobs and more jobs).  An optical illusion if ever there was one.

Telling this government about its claat may just be temporary personal relief. The CS himself needs to adopt a claat approach by wheeling and coming again.

• CS, you need to cut some claat in more ways than one. Indeed you may have to tell some of your friends and foes about theirs when you send them packing. You have to cut your suit to fit your cloth.  If the fabric has shrunken, or is just not as expansive as you would have hoped, then you must cut and carve. From ministers, ministries and civil service - if the revenue is not there, then adroitly cut the services being provided by government.  The purpose of the civil service is to provide service, not jobs. 
  
• With a seemingly intractable crime problem, we need for a start to double the complement of the police force. Whilst at the same time introducing a variety of new skills and technology.  Some separated from positions in the civil service could find jobs in an enlightened organization honed in a national effort to reduce crime.
• Taxation packages are easy for a vision-less regime. Failure to achieve targets beget more and increased initiatives; ultimately yielding similarly frustrating results. Hello CS - people do not work just to pay taxes.  Freeze - and - tax has never been a forumla for growth and development.  The entrepreneurial spirit has to be stimulated, facilitated and rewarded.
• CS, Since you cannot drive, try tailoring - cut some claat nuh!
  

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A Rahtid Lick

Generally the Observer and Nationwide have been the two media entities which are sympathetic to the Bruce Golding-led JLP in Opposition and in Government.

Over the last two and a half years, they have been prepared to publicize the JLP government's position; and generally given the administration the benefit of the doubt - ie. an extended honeymoon. Well the honeymoon is over as far as the Observer is oncerned. The husband has fallen short, failed to live up to expectations and promises; the bride is disenchanted and frustrated.  There is need for counselling (read consultation).

In case you have missed it, on Sunday, January 10, 2010, the Editorial, (not a so-so letter to the Editor) is entitled "A Case of Kin Teet Kibba Heart Bun". Here is the introduction:

"ACCORDING to the West Indian Dictionary, a poppy show is a person or thing that looks ridiculous. That's certainly not a noun which we would want to apply to those that lead us. But when we read the remarks that our prime minister, Mr Bruce Golding, made to the eighth annual Caribbean MBA conference last Wednesday, our options seem frighteningly narrow. Coupled with the rest of his speech, which seems to have consisted of nothing new, or newsworthy, the unflattering conclusion seems inevitable.

According to Friday's edition of the Daily Observer, Mr Golding told the conference that his way of dealing with the stresses of the job he fought for so spiritedly three years ago, was to head to the kitchen and cook them away.

Nothing's wrong with that. In fact, in some other context -- say an informal session with his compadres -- it might even pass for cute.

But we expect sensible leaders to have a sense of occasion.

And with every due respect to our prime minister, we think that his cooking revelation, coming as it did against the background of what cannot be classified by any standard as a successful reign so far, was rather queer, to put it mildly.

This was, after all, an important conference sponsored by important business interests whom we are sure would like to be taken seriously.

Unless their invitation to him was part and parcel of a big joke, or the birth of some sort of Bilderberg-like chatfest, we think he might have taken the trouble to come up with a more significant speech."

That is one rahtid lick. We shudder to think what part of the political anatomy was the target.  Bangarang indeed! Ouch, Chief Samfie Servant.

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Bruce Gone to Pot

We do not want to sound alarmist. The Prime Minister has not taken to smoking ganja - at least there is no public admission that he does so.

It has been reported that when under stress, the PM takes to the kitchen and puts all his troubles in a pot and somehow gets relief by watching the flames do their job. In a sense the PM has admitted that like Capleton he is also a fireman. Just picture Bruce with the pot boiling, the flames lasting and saying to himself:

"Bun bad mind, bun bad budget, bun bad luck, bun Eddie!"

Not unlike a number of herbalists, Ras B finds some soothing relief in lighting up - raising flames. Such does not augur well for the Cabinet.  For example, can you imagine the trepidation felt by the Ministers when the CS invites them to lunch and says that he will be cooking?

That the CS resorts to cooking when under stress has some unintended consequences.  For example, Bruce will be in charge of the catering for the four day Cabinet Retreat.  Who will be the uncut members of the kitchen cabinet? Some have no doubt gone to pot, either smoking or sitting.

Bruce must be selfish in that stress release initiative for it is said "too many cooks spoil the broth". The country is anxiously awaiting what he is cooking up.  If the stress continues, then he may just open a cook shop.  Some may say that he is already running the country like one. IMF stew is on the menu.

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Consult Papa Eddie

Fact#1: EPG Seaga has considerable experience in dealing with the IMF and mulilateral lending institutions.

Fact #2: EPG Seaga has unquestionable forte in implementing taxation measures—hence the nomenclature “Papa Tax”.

Fact #3: EPG Seaga is available; a true labourite who has fashioned the JLP more than any other. It is his legacy that is in peril.

If the above are unassailable and generally (even grudgingly) admitted, then what factors are preventing the Bruce Golding led administration from consulting with Papa Eddie?

Is it not time to put aside or surpass any obstacles that prevent the government from accessing worthwhile advice in the “national interest”?

Given the prolonged and seemingly unprofessional encounters with the IMF, is it not the opportune time to appoint EPG Seaga as “Chief Negotiator”?

They say that a drowning man will grasp at a straw. Jamaica is experiencing a tsunami; the government is merely treading water; it is time for Papa Eddie.He may be more than a straw!!

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Lies & Dyes

We have serious concerns when it comes to political credibility. Some of the key actors in thhe Bruce Goofing regime seem to have been typecast for the roles they have been performing on the national stage. Here are just a few examples as there are  a wide pool from which to choose:

Political credibility must be strained when:

• a jamaican politician says he has never used “bad words” a.k.a. indecent language?

• a Minister sports a hairdo characterised by a less than symmetrical division between dyed black and dyed white?

• a speech is touted to be of “national importance”, but was delivered in the wee hours of the morning and contained nothing which would have been uncomfortable in a mundane government press release?

• a politician claims sensitivity to the cries of the people who he had just made into weeping minions?

• a Minister would have us believe that the entire cabinet sat and deliberated a tax package without considering the political ramifications?

The latest one is the spin that the government knew that it was not possible to effect the tax on electricity consumption before February 1, 2010; yet allowed the prime Minister to declare in two national addresses that the entire tax package (including the electricity tax) had to become effective January 1, 2010?  That would make anyone—even the Prime Minister use colourful language.

Speaking of which, some JLP leaders have been quite adept in their use of hair colouring. One even had a nuanced rainbow colouration that varied from month to month. Another apparently economized by sharing his wife’s. They made a matching couple. Those old enough will recall the replacement of official photographs which had white hair with ones suitably altered or dyed replacements.

But the JLP government is not alone.Whilst there may be fanatical loyalty to party colour, hair dye runs aplenty untribalized.The geriatric nature of the Opposition PNP fails to be camouflaged by the liberal application of hair dye. The preference hair here seems to be white.

Since there is a general reluctance to implement term limits, then there could an easy solution: hair dye retirement. Can you imagine how many would run afoul of such a standard? By one count nine members of the opposition would readily qualify and at least two in the Senate.

Some politicians might just opt for the bald head approach; even more so after a less than Ruddy happy experience with dye. Shouts of “shower” may send both sides scampering for cover.

Guess it is just a case of our politicians dy(e)ing to serve the people. You had better believe that!

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New Maths: 2 + 2 = 4

There have been several news reports that the GOJ has failed disastrously in its bid to raise much needed funds on the local market to take care of general housekeeping expenses.

The reports are that the GOJ attempted to float bonds to the tune of some $24B; but only approximately $1B was realized.

Subsequently, BOJ was forced to “hold the bag” and take up the unsubscribed securities. The BOJ’s action was described spun as “temporary finances” and “advances”. One financial analyst has said that such are euphemisms for the printing of money.

Now follow the argument: Having put approximately $23B (unsupported) into the economy, the GOJ is then forced to extract/withdraw a similar amount before it attempts to broker an agreement with the IMF. The latter does not “kin teeth” with lax financial management.

We have asked this question before. We ask it again. Is this the real reason for the amount and timing of the recently announced tax packages? Or is it merely an unfortunate coincidence?

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Cabinet:: Tax & Freeze

So the Chief Machete Man has announced (via public media) a 2-year freeze on salaries paid to government. The Minister of Transport has announced (via television interview) a fare hike of 20% and simultaneously a 2-year fare freeze on private transport operators.

The government has claimed that it is working on behalf of the people - the Prime Minister being the self-proclaimed “Chief Servant”.

Well, how about applying a wage/salary/allowance freeze for 2 years to members of the cabinet? We are all in this mess together. Some cannot avoid living in squalor; others cannot afford multiple refurbished offices much less a  work station. Those who can—albeit at our expense—should have a greater share of the burden.

Accordingly, there should be a Greater Cabinet Tax (GCT)—the actual percentage corresponding to the actual number of members of the cabinet. Utilizing taxation as  a deterrent/inducement tool, such a tax could be levied on all the members of the JLP in the Parliament. Then you would see real pressure exerted on the Bruce Golding-led administration to effect a lean mean machine (as promised).

Want to bet (tax included) that there would be no more than twelve willing to be appointed?

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GCT 2

Successive governments seem to think that GCT symbolizes Gouge Consumers Tax. Have a deficit? Resort to the Government Crutch Tax. Government has the power so Government Can Tax but can Government Collect Tax? Can Government Calculate Tax?

With the recent flirtation with the Grave Cradle Tax or the resultant Gross Chaos Tax, we are left to conclude that the real meaning of GCT is Government Confusion Tax or is it Generate Crime Tax?

The people cried out, “Woy, Golding Cut Taxes!” And the Government Called Truce.

Yes wheel and come again, adjustments need to be done, after all in a nation of such riches and diversity, this government has options. How about:

1. Graduated Colour Tax - the more they bleach out the blackness, tax them!
2. Garbage Collection Tax – those who can afford to have plenty logically have more waste, tax them!
3. Garrison Comfort Tax – Since garrisons have better security than those of us who helping to subsidize their utilities, tax them!
4. Green Colour Tax – All longstanding members of the Jamaica Labour Party must bear collective responsibility for this tax mess, tax them!
5. Goofing Clown Tax – Every time the government goofs, tax them!

Next time we don’t want to hear address to the nation in an attempt to correct bungling. Golding Can Talk but God Can Too.

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