New Rules

Orette Bruce Golding during the Dudus Extradition Affair (DEA) held a number of relevant positions; PM of Jamaica, self declared Chief Servant; MP for Western Kingston, Leader of the JLP, salad maker and husband of Lorna Golding.  Confusion surrounds which particular cap Orette Bruce Golding was wearing at any specific point in time during the DEA.

Orette Bruce Golding is scheduled to be the final witness in the Dudus/Manatt COE.  The public has been hyped to expect a showdown between Golding and KD Knight. Such has been labelled Sheriff vs Spider, Nightmare vs Webmaster and numerous other epithets.

This is the grand finale in the biggest political operatic farce Jamaica has ever witnessed.  

There is a clear and urgent for some new rules:

1. Commissioners must be as usual out of commission and not enforce any rules
2. Lying to one counsel does not bar lying to any or all
3. "Can't recall" and "cannot remember" are only available for answers to twenty questions per day.
4. Complete freedom to contradict all other witnesses and even oneself without shame or explanation.
5. Contradiction of verbatim writer is limited to five occasions.
6. "National Security" "Cabinet" and "Constitutional Rights" are not to be used in the ordinary customary senses. Witness is free to attach any unque, arbitrary or nonsensical meaning without notice.
7. Nelsonian Maths do not apply.
8. KD limited to ten days.
9. Witness free to carry own juice (Leaf-of-lie tea, Oil of Slippery Mouth, Memory Booster) if the water provided is less effective.
10. Audience reactions in terms of laughter, smirks, nodding (of the non-sleep variety) and other expressions of appreciation are strictly prohibited Coughing and throat clearing are allowed. Pauses longer than thirty seconds will not be allowed as they may be interpreted as disbelief or lying.
11. Absence from work during the showdown should not be supported by medical certificate. After all this could properly be classified as a "national disaster."

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Bruce to Come

• Can we expect JLP supporters to turn out in their numbers (adorned with placards) when their leader attends the COE? What about another round of graffiti?
• Will Bruce Golding be wearing a green or a blue tie; or better still, one similar to that highlighted by his counsel Hugh Small QC?
• Can someone explain the basis for the different legal representation of the JLP and PM Golding? Bruce Golding is the leader of the JLP, so PM Golding is having a separate and distinct position from Party Leader Golding.
• Is it a case that this is not a GOJ initiative; neither is it a JLP initiative but a Bruce Golding initiative?
• Could it have been a Bruce Golding idea; the initial cost of which would be undertaken by the JLP, but it had to have the appearance of a GOJ initiative, with the GOJ taking over the financial obligations of the MPP contract?
•  Is it a mere coincidence that a large number of attorneys, formally or presently, associated with one particular law firm seem to be involved in one way or another in this COE? Is it Dudus/Manatt or Dunn/Manatt COE?
• Will PM Golding inform us as to the amount and type of lubricant which was applied to the "conduit" that facilitated the signing of the authority to proceed?
• Will the PM indicate if Dorothy Lightbourne, who eventually signed the authority to proceed, has obeyed his edict and signed simultaneously her letter of resignation?
• How many members of the Cabinet will be at the prolonged appearance of the PM at the COE?
• Will the PM announce the much anticipated Cabinet re-shuffle before the findings of the COE are delivered?
• Will the hype surrounding Sheriff vs. Spider be realized in spite of the numerous objections from the green gremlins?

The audience is growing weary of the supporting acts.  The top-billed performers are being impatiently awaited. Bram Bram!

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