Sam's Sanctions

Samuda, in his dual capacity as a senior minister of government and the General Secretary of the JLP, has been mandated to sanction Harold Brady. Yes; and the cow jumped over the moon.

What exactly has Brady done to warrant being any sanction being imposed on him? Brady is not a member of the cabinet, so he cannot be sanctioned by any member of that august body.  Brady is said to be a card carrying member of the JLP, so the General Secretary can take disciplinary measures if the rules governing that party have been infringed. Have they and by whom?

So Sam the Sanctioner has a problem. How does he imposing sanctions on one who has been acting in the best interests of the party for donkey's years?

We thought it best to consider some sanctions:

• Brady to stand outside the gates of Jamaica House between the hours of 8am - 9am  and 4pm -5pm on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays for two weeks with a loudspeaker saying, "I am sorry" once every five minutes. [Vaz the Minister of Information will monitor the event with the usual media coverage]
• Brady to write 50,000 lines "I am not a Consultant to the Government of Jamaica". Such must be in Brady's own handwriting and his signature affixed to the bottom of each page. [AG Lightbourne will ensure compliance and send certified copies to the US law firm Manatt, Phelps & Phillips]
• Brady to attend Vale Royal for breakfast on weekends, dressed in white shorts and to affix his name, address and signature to the visitor's protocol book. [PM Bruce will do the cooking]
• At the completion of the sanctions, Brady to throw a party and invite the usual posse. The occasion will taken to confer on Brady an OJ as a lasting and fitting sanction for his initiatives. [The OD - Order of Dudus = was ruled out]