Mistakes, Lies and Missed Tapes

Source: Jamaica Observer, March 23, 2010

Since the GOJ is reluctant to provide credible answers to some of the questions being asked in the Brady Factor which has complicated the Dudus Extradition Affair (DEA), we thought that "in the national interest" it was our patriotic duty to assist.

• Question:

Was the US government duped into thinking that Manatt, Phelps  & Phillips (MPP) represented the GOJ in the talks involving the  DEA.

• Answer: (Choose any or all)

No. The SG of Jamaica accompanied MPP  into the official talks on the issue.

No. Brady although not officially certified as "Consultant to the GOJ" retained the services of MPP who were instructed to engage US officials in such talks.

No.  Brady and Co. represented a Head of State (Prezi) of a state (Tivoli) within a state.

• Question:

Were the amounts paid to MPP as retainer and for services rendered sourced from illegal activities?

• Answer: (Choose any or all)

No.  The GOJ operates its own extortion scheme called the JDX.

No.  In Jamaica money has no taint, the US currency (called greenbacks) is the same official colour as that of the ruling party.

No. It is a time honoured policy of the JLP regime not to question the source of funds. In the 80's banks were instructed not to ask questions.

No. All activities undertaken within Jamaica are protected by the Constitution and have "rights" attached.

• Question:

Who were the ultimate beneficiaries of the lobbying efforts undertaken by MPP?

• Answer: (Choose any or all)

The GOJ. The whole cabinet is in danger if such initiatives are not successful.

The JLP; Dudus can sing.

The PM; Entry to Tivoli now restricted may be prohibited necessitating the finding of another constituency to represent.

Dudus; Not anxious to embark on a presidential visit at this time.

Brady; In line for an OJ.

• Question:

Is the GOJ embarrassed by the action undertaken by Brady - the unauthorized solicitation of MPP to act on behalf of the GOJ.

• Answer: (Choose any or all)

No. The GOJ has no relationship with MPP

No. The GOJ has no relationship with the US

No. The GOJ has no relationship with Dudus

No. The GOJ has suffered no such embarrassment for the JLP has only been in office for 2 1/2 years whereas the PNP has caused the GOJ great embarrassment for over 18 years.

No. Brady is not in the cabinet.

"When fools talk they think only fools are listening " - Hat tip to Lambert Brown - The Evening Edition, Radio Mona.

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Knots in my Cabinet?

Bruce-on-the-loose must be appalled by the bumpy ride which cabinet and individual ministers have been experiencing over the past six months. For example:

• Audrey Flaw - repeated budgets and accompanying withdrawals.
• Tweety Bird - outburst on the granting of bail for alleged kidnappers.
• Ed AA Bartlett - scathing report by the OCG of misleading cabinet and misleading self.
• Lightweight - to sign or not to sign what is the answer PM?
• His Holiness - cabinet not considering political implications of tax measures.
• Shinehead - Edith just a haul and pull him.
• Dr. Cassava - Hill & Gully sugar divestment.

The" driva" is having a very rough ride - without "a lubricated conduit".  The "blinking bus" is in need of a mechanic as "the engine of growth" sputters along.  

"Technicalities" whether constitutional, contractual or extradition-al aside, the Chief Servant must be "hard talking" to himself: "knots is my cabinet?"

"Staring" is not enough. "Steering" is required. Can you hear me now? We are all listening. Play the tapes if you think you bad (gun salutes are illegal).

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Run With the Bag

The outrage resulting from the revelation of the compensation packages involved in the FINSAC enquiry has  been widely reported in the Jamaican press. Radio Jamaica (RJR), TVJ, CVM, Hot 102, The Gleaner, The Jamaica Observer - all have reported this debacle. Nevermind the report in the Sunday Herald. This is shame and scandal, with or without familial ties.

"Value-for-Money" - that is a well known standard form response by the government for the unconscionable, extravagant and extortionist compensation packages that are now becoming a vexatious characteristic of this JLP regime.

The Bruce Golding-led JLP has never been "value for money".  Colossal sums were spent on a two year campaign only to win by less than 3,000 votes. The Bruce Golding-led government has carried on the same wanton abuse of money - this time with government revenue (and not private funding, the UFO's being exhausted).

• What is likely to be the final outcome of this so-called FINSAC enquiry given the undue reliance on memory? 
• Would not a forensic audit have provided a more reliable and accurate account of how the money was spent/lost and decisions arrived at in the particular circumstances?
• Is there not an appearance of a conflict of interest where the legal counsel to the commission and the attorney marshalling the evidence are members of the same private law firm?
• The budget is $79 million for approximately 70 days. How does this compare with the remuneration packages of the fired governor of the Bank of Jamaica and Hill's sweet deal?
• Is the daily rate approximately $1 million applicable to any part of a day or is it adjusted pro rata given the frequency of aborted sittings? 
• What mechanisms are in place to minimize the likelihood of overruns, resulting in the commission sitting in concrete?
• The commission is expected to produce a report.  What happens next? How will those who have been adversely affected by state action be compensated? Is there any real possibility of redress or is this merely an exercise to fodder an election campaign?
  

In the end ( whenever that is) there is likely to be no action; not even a bag-a-mouth but costing the taxpayer a bag-a-money. This has given new meaning to "run-with-it". $216,000.00 per day must be a good roast for a retired anything.

"Value-for-money" is an assessment of outcomes - not of promises or expectations.

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A Rahtid Lick

Generally the Observer and Nationwide have been the two media entities which are sympathetic to the Bruce Golding-led JLP in Opposition and in Government.

Over the last two and a half years, they have been prepared to publicize the JLP government's position; and generally given the administration the benefit of the doubt - ie. an extended honeymoon. Well the honeymoon is over as far as the Observer is oncerned. The husband has fallen short, failed to live up to expectations and promises; the bride is disenchanted and frustrated.  There is need for counselling (read consultation).

In case you have missed it, on Sunday, January 10, 2010, the Editorial, (not a so-so letter to the Editor) is entitled "A Case of Kin Teet Kibba Heart Bun". Here is the introduction:

"ACCORDING to the West Indian Dictionary, a poppy show is a person or thing that looks ridiculous. That's certainly not a noun which we would want to apply to those that lead us. But when we read the remarks that our prime minister, Mr Bruce Golding, made to the eighth annual Caribbean MBA conference last Wednesday, our options seem frighteningly narrow. Coupled with the rest of his speech, which seems to have consisted of nothing new, or newsworthy, the unflattering conclusion seems inevitable.

According to Friday's edition of the Daily Observer, Mr Golding told the conference that his way of dealing with the stresses of the job he fought for so spiritedly three years ago, was to head to the kitchen and cook them away.

Nothing's wrong with that. In fact, in some other context -- say an informal session with his compadres -- it might even pass for cute.

But we expect sensible leaders to have a sense of occasion.

And with every due respect to our prime minister, we think that his cooking revelation, coming as it did against the background of what cannot be classified by any standard as a successful reign so far, was rather queer, to put it mildly.

This was, after all, an important conference sponsored by important business interests whom we are sure would like to be taken seriously.

Unless their invitation to him was part and parcel of a big joke, or the birth of some sort of Bilderberg-like chatfest, we think he might have taken the trouble to come up with a more significant speech."

That is one rahtid lick. We shudder to think what part of the political anatomy was the target.  Bangarang indeed! Ouch, Chief Samfie Servant.

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Lies & Dyes

We have serious concerns when it comes to political credibility. Some of the key actors in thhe Bruce Goofing regime seem to have been typecast for the roles they have been performing on the national stage. Here are just a few examples as there are  a wide pool from which to choose:

Political credibility must be strained when:

• a jamaican politician says he has never used “bad words” a.k.a. indecent language?

• a Minister sports a hairdo characterised by a less than symmetrical division between dyed black and dyed white?

• a speech is touted to be of “national importance”, but was delivered in the wee hours of the morning and contained nothing which would have been uncomfortable in a mundane government press release?

• a politician claims sensitivity to the cries of the people who he had just made into weeping minions?

• a Minister would have us believe that the entire cabinet sat and deliberated a tax package without considering the political ramifications?

The latest one is the spin that the government knew that it was not possible to effect the tax on electricity consumption before February 1, 2010; yet allowed the prime Minister to declare in two national addresses that the entire tax package (including the electricity tax) had to become effective January 1, 2010?  That would make anyone—even the Prime Minister use colourful language.

Speaking of which, some JLP leaders have been quite adept in their use of hair colouring. One even had a nuanced rainbow colouration that varied from month to month. Another apparently economized by sharing his wife’s. They made a matching couple. Those old enough will recall the replacement of official photographs which had white hair with ones suitably altered or dyed replacements.

But the JLP government is not alone.Whilst there may be fanatical loyalty to party colour, hair dye runs aplenty untribalized.The geriatric nature of the Opposition PNP fails to be camouflaged by the liberal application of hair dye. The preference hair here seems to be white.

Since there is a general reluctance to implement term limits, then there could an easy solution: hair dye retirement. Can you imagine how many would run afoul of such a standard? By one count nine members of the opposition would readily qualify and at least two in the Senate.

Some politicians might just opt for the bald head approach; even more so after a less than Ruddy happy experience with dye. Shouts of “shower” may send both sides scampering for cover.

Guess it is just a case of our politicians dy(e)ing to serve the people. You had better believe that!

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Cabinet:: Tax & Freeze

So the Chief Machete Man has announced (via public media) a 2-year freeze on salaries paid to government. The Minister of Transport has announced (via television interview) a fare hike of 20% and simultaneously a 2-year fare freeze on private transport operators.

The government has claimed that it is working on behalf of the people - the Prime Minister being the self-proclaimed “Chief Servant”.

Well, how about applying a wage/salary/allowance freeze for 2 years to members of the cabinet? We are all in this mess together. Some cannot avoid living in squalor; others cannot afford multiple refurbished offices much less a  work station. Those who can—albeit at our expense—should have a greater share of the burden.

Accordingly, there should be a Greater Cabinet Tax (GCT)—the actual percentage corresponding to the actual number of members of the cabinet. Utilizing taxation as  a deterrent/inducement tool, such a tax could be levied on all the members of the JLP in the Parliament. Then you would see real pressure exerted on the Bruce Golding-led administration to effect a lean mean machine (as promised).

Want to bet (tax included) that there would be no more than twelve willing to be appointed?

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GCT 2

Successive governments seem to think that GCT symbolizes Gouge Consumers Tax. Have a deficit? Resort to the Government Crutch Tax. Government has the power so Government Can Tax but can Government Collect Tax? Can Government Calculate Tax?

With the recent flirtation with the Grave Cradle Tax or the resultant Gross Chaos Tax, we are left to conclude that the real meaning of GCT is Government Confusion Tax or is it Generate Crime Tax?

The people cried out, “Woy, Golding Cut Taxes!” And the Government Called Truce.

Yes wheel and come again, adjustments need to be done, after all in a nation of such riches and diversity, this government has options. How about:

1. Graduated Colour Tax - the more they bleach out the blackness, tax them!
2. Garbage Collection Tax – those who can afford to have plenty logically have more waste, tax them!
3. Garrison Comfort Tax – Since garrisons have better security than those of us who helping to subsidize their utilities, tax them!
4. Green Colour Tax – All longstanding members of the Jamaica Labour Party must bear collective responsibility for this tax mess, tax them!
5. Goofing Clown Tax – Every time the government goofs, tax them!

Next time we don’t want to hear address to the nation in an attempt to correct bungling. Golding Can Talk but God Can Too.

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